when your partner wont go to therapy

Generally, the pursuit of marital therapy begins when one partner has simply had enough and says, “I can’t do this…like this…anymore.” The other partner, however, may not be willing – or ready – to get help.

Zawn Villines offers some good perspectives for When Your Partner Wont Go to Therapy. I’ve listed a few of her suggestions below, with my own thoughts attached:

  • Talking About It – May seem like a no brainer, but it’s harder than it seems, especially when even broaching the topic is an admission that all isn’t well. Sometimes, however, even raising the issue can help begin to address them.
  • Considering Alternatives – Maybe your relationship simply needs a change of pace. Can you learn a new hobby together? Agree on a “no screen” period each day? Read a book together? John Gottman’s Seven Principles book has some great practical advice that may help you kill two birds with one stone.
  • Going Alone – The best marriages are comprised of healthy individuals. If your spouse won’t join you in therapy, there’s no shame in going on your own. In fact, it could be a great gift to yourself – and your spouse – to do some personal work.

My practice focuses on couples therapy, and I’d be happy to help you and your partner explore whether counseling might be fruitful. If your partner won’t join you, feel free to contact me about individual sessions. If I’m not a good fit, I may be able to provide a great referral.

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