It cannot be overstated how destructive the four horsemen can be to your relationship. Here is a great summary from the Gottman Relationship Blog. If you want to get serious about your relationship, bookmark this blog. For now, read up on The Four Horsemen: Recognizing Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling.
I LOVE this perspective from Care2. Healthy marriages can only be created by healthy individuals. Read more about how Managing Marriage Stress Starts with Self and take good care of you.
Generally, the pursuit of marital therapy begins when one partner has simply had enough and says, “I can’t do this…like this…anymore.” The other partner, however, may not be willing – or ready – to get help. Zawn Villines offers some good perspectives for When Your Partner Wont Go to Therapy. I’ve listed a few of her suggestions […]
Can you locate yourself in the midst of the Pursuer-Distancer pattern? Terry Gaspard’s commentary suggests an all too common scenario for couples. Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW: How The Pursuer-Distancer Pattern Can Destroy Your Marriage.
There is probably not much more devastating to a relationship than an affair, no matter how big or small. It naturally begs the question, “Can your marriage survive an affair?” When the unbreakable contract is broken, both spouses are have to grapple with the debris. The betrayed partner begins asking “Who is this person I […]
Divorce is painful. It’s tragic, messy and often humiliating. And, sometimes, it’s necessary. It may even be good. Louis C.K., currently the world’s most famous comedian, has semi-famously said: Divorce is always good news. I know that sounds weird, but it’s true because no good marriage has ever ended in divorce. It’s really that simple. I’m inclined […]
If I ever compose a book on marriage, I could conceivably concentrate every chapter on a different word commencing with C. Remember that one time Sesame Street was sponsored by a letter? Marriage is kind-of like Sesame Street. Maybe I could name my book Marriage: Brought To You Buy The Letter C. Maybe not. I’ll figure that out when the […]
Believe the best. This might be the best marriage advice we ever received. The couple that did our pre-marital counseling gave us this little nugget and even suggested that we abbreviate it to “BTB” and use it as our secret code when things got rough. It’s terribly trite, but it’s worked for us. If not the […]
Attachment. Addiction. Maybe not the first two words you associate with marriage. Attachment is usually associated with parenting, but lately it has creeped into the marriage vernacular. In both cases it boils down to a single question: “Do you love _____ more than me?” Children ask it unconsciously for years and years, and years. I […]
When I committed to writing about marriage once a week for a year, I started with two basic truths: I am not an expert. I have at least 52 thoughts about the topic. That said, it’s been difficult to find a rhythm with regard to how and what to write. But I think I’ve come […]